When Things Fall Apart
Posted by Elizabeth
The 4th of July came early to our household this year. Last Wednesday night, as Albuquerque slept soundly, Maikael and I were treated to our own private firework show, compliments of our cooling system. “There was a ‘light show’ outside our window last night,” Maikael reported the next morning, referring to the sparks that showered from our swamp cooler unit in the backyard. (Per usual, I slept through the whole thing, and I thank god that Maikael is not a sound sleeper.) After concluding that the motor was nearly shot, we turned off the cooler and spent a sweltering Southwest summer day sweating like pigs under ceiling fans that spun too slowly.
Before the swamp cooler came the leaky roof. What started as a hairline fracture has ballooned into a full-blown break; the evidence taunts me daily, a watery brown stain in the shape of an “H,” whose sturdy legs keep elongating. Despite the fact that the roof has been repaired a number of times, it keeps leaking, and I now shudder silently and cast my eyes ominously towards the “H” when I hear the roll of thunder in the distance, in the midst of one of Albuquerque’s rainiest summers. It’s probably time to bite the bullet and re-roof, but the quote for this project somehow doubled since we last inquired two years ago. Purchasing an item you don’t even see isn’t a very fun way to spend $5,000.
It seems like everything is falling apart these days, and lately I’ve been wondering: is it all worth it? Truth be told, I think the myth-dream that Home Ownership Will Make You Happy is a total sham. And it seems as if I’m not the only one who’s arriving at that conclusion. Maikael recently forwarded me this article on “transumerism,” a consumer lifestyle based on renting or leasing. From handbags to housing, it’s “less about treasure and more about pleasure,” states the article (a terribly rhyme, by the way). Whether people are renting bikes, DVDs, clothes, cars or, yes, even pets, the reasons seem to be primarily motivated by wanting luxury or wanting to reduce waste in the world. I fall into neither of these categories.
I’ve never understood the allure of home ownership. When I was little, I didn’t dream of owning a big house in the suburbs. Instead, I dreamed of living in an apartment above a 7-11 (for the 24/7 access to Slurpees, of course). I’m not sure why I don’t buy into the appeal of this aspect of The American Dream. Perhaps it’s because I was raised by a mother whose goal in life was to pare down her worldly belongings into what she could fit into a shopping cart. Maybe it’s because I was born in the Year of the Horse, and Horse People (as we like to be called) typically want nothing more than to run free and be unshackled. Maybe the change-a-holic in me fears the inherent stability that home ownership represents. Or perhaps it’s because I’m one of those people who is divorced from my stuff, one of those people Matthew B. Crawford chides in Shop Class as Soulcraft, who has not an iota of mechanical acumen or self-reliance. In any event, I’m tired of spending my time and money in the never-ending quest of maintaining and improving a property, which feels a little like Sisyphus pushing that rock up a hill. Most people simply accept these basic truths of home ownership and move on with their lives. For me, a house represents a set of responsibilities and encumberments that I’m simply not interested in assuming.
My Adobe Abode
So why did I buy a house in the first place? I honestly can’t remember. I’m sure it had something to do with being practical and pragmatic, like maximizing a tax write-off or long-term investment potential. And I’m guessing there was also a dose of wanting to do what everyone else was doing at the time. But, right now, these don’t seem like compelling enough reasons. I watch those home-buying shows on HGTV, and when the new homeowners on Property Virgins puff out their chests and speak with pride about accomplishing the goal of home ownership and finally being the master of their domain, I can’t identify. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my house – I really do. There’s nothing quite like eating dinner outside on the patio on warm summer evenings, as dusk falls quietly around me. But I’m not any happier now than I was when I was living in my poky little apartment in Seattle six years ago. In fact, I miss my goofy managers. I miss my neighbors, like the woman we dubbed “Cat Lunatic” who lived down the hall, or our next-door neighbor, a placid guy who could frequently be heard screaming, “EAT IT!” through the thick, plaster walls. I miss the old-fashioned mailboxes, and the ancient bathtub, and glass doorknobs that had been turned who knows how many times by a lifetime of tenants before me. But mostly I miss calling Benjamin, our building’s repairman, when something broke.
If you’re a homeowner who loves being one, please, tell me what I’m missing. I’m really interested. If you’re a homeowner who hates being one, tell me what drives you nuts about the experience. And if you’re a renter, what do you love or hate about it?
July 7th, 2009 at 6:53 am
From the opposite viewpoint of somebody who has had to rent apartments in multiple locales for the last 7 years (and with no sign of it stopping anytime soon), I desperately look forward to a home, whether owned or rented, for a few reasons, including the permanence that will finally offer me. That’s probably the most important, as I haven’t lived ANYWHERE for more than four years since I was 18 (and only one place for four years – I’m facing my third move in as many years in a few months). There’s also the privacy – nobody stomping around above you, chatting in the hallway, or playing the TV too loud below you. Sure, you can have noisy neighbors in houses, too, but it’s a different (and less frequent) kind of noise. Plus, you can do whatever you want to the inside of your house, and not have to worry about whether it’s going to cost you when you move out (i.e., carpeting, painting, etc.). And there are things like yards/porches/patios/etc. that you can enjoy that most apartment owners don’t get.
Sure, home ownership is far from as idyllic as we paint it, but it has its perks, too.
And if you disagree, give me your home, and you can have my apartment
.
July 7th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I have lived in 5 different rentals in the last 7 years. The first 4 places were apartments in large complexes. I think I was more tolerant of obnoxious neighbors when I was a student. After graduating I started to think about maybe buying a house. Other than the obvious lack of financial feasibility I felt safer in an apartment setting as a single woman living alone than I thought I would as a single woman living alone in a house.
Last winter I came upon an opportunity to live in a house on a property with 3 houses owned by one family. I am the only non family member. I absolutely love my place now. The original section of the house is actually over 100 years old. There have been a couple of additions added since then. One of them being the apartment in which I live. The house is on over an acre of land with beautiful mature landscaping in the North Valley of Albuquerque. I am in the center apartment of one of the houses. On one side is the 93 yr. old family matriarch and on the other side is a single woman who is much like me. It is quiet, shady and peaceful. If I were to buy a house this place is exactly what I would want – a single story adobe house with lots of windows and tons of character. Of course, being an older custom house there are some maintenance issues. This is where I like renting. If something breaks I call Chris, my neighbor who maintains the property, and he fixes things quickly. Plus when we need a new roof (or any other expensive fix) I don’t have to pay for it.
If I lived in any of my previous aparments I would be very interested in purchasing a home. I could be paying a mortgage right now, but I’m happy renting where I am.
July 7th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Robyn, this sounds like a neat arrangement, a “best of both worlds,” if you will.
July 7th, 2009 at 11:58 am
When I was young, we owned a home but lost it after I completed third grade, and lived in several rental homes over the subsequent years. The constant moving represented a hard time, and we had to respect another person’s property as tenants. Without the permanence of our own place, we did not have a sense of home. As a private person, apartment living has had its challenges, too. With close proximity comes loud noises and other issues.
As a financial investment, I’m less sold of the value of home ownership. While it’s true that many have seen real appreciation, many others are now upside down on their mortgages. And historically, I believe values have only increased at a rate slightly over inflation. We pay mostly interest on our mortgages until almost the end of the life of the loan, and tax breaks are only realized on the interest. Couple this with expensive maintenance, such as a leaky roof, and I think a house isn’t always as good of an investment as we’re led to believe.
Paradoxically, a house represents both putting down roots and freedom at the same time. We all should own one for the right reasons.
July 7th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
In my opinion Renting is a creative person’s prison. Case in point; I was 19 years old when I moved out. I was young, excited, full of energy and life. I rented a single bedroom in an old renovated mansion (that later turned out to be an old Dentist’s office which kind of killed the glamour) near the University that I was attending. I had the bedroom under the stairs which created most of my closet and made for a very cool looking ceiling. I wanted to do so much to my space. I had so many ideas. New paint, new carpet, new closet door, I also wanted to change the blinds on the exterior of the window to make it look cooler on the inside (you can see where I’m going with this). It was to my dismay that aside from painting I was not allowed to do any of this. Worst of all the room that I had rented was lovingly coined the drain, because when the toilet upstairs backed up a whole bunch of —. I won’t go into further detail. Safe to say I was fairly bummed with my first Apartment. I did have one other apartment before I bought my home which was very nice but still limited me on my creativity levels.
Ownership is the foundation for one to have full expression. Meaning that if you own something, you have the full ability to do what you would like with it. Whether it be a car, house, or bicycle, if you own it you can be as creative as you want with it. For when I bought my first house I had laid decretive tile throughout it and not one wall was the same color, and my back yard was my oasis, with grass, lots of grass! (Take that Bernalillo County.) The only problem was I had a new home; and though nothing needed to be repaired for many years I had to deal with the dreaded Home Owners Association (I swear mine was run by the Mafia). They would do nothing for you except tell you that you didn’t ask for permission to put that gate in and that they would take you to court if this was not rectified. “Are you freaking kidding me? I own the place!” So, now I live in an older home which has some kinks here and there that need to be fixed, and of course I am anticipating some major expense at some point. But I am under No HOA! So now, I can be creative as much as — my wife will let me.
July 7th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Mark, I’m pretty sure my HOA is owned by the Mafia, too! Maybe this is part of my problem as well? Thanks for your detailed thoughts, everyone! I really do appreciate the insight.
July 7th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Funny you have an AC problem. We have been getting by with a 24 year old AC unit that we plug more freon at a price of $150 a fill-up usually 2 or 3 times a summer. Today we had it filled and an hour later we find a pipe totally rusted out and all the freon escaping. By Friday we will be the “proud” owners of a new $3000 AC unit. While I like owning my own place I wish for the NO maintenance version of it. I have to put in a new ladder to the attic, we are staining the deck, boards need replaced on the deck, we need a new front porch… all the joys of owning a home. HA HA.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:17 am
All I know is this: I was more content living in a shack without electricity up in the mountains in a communal living situation than I am in this clusterfuck subdivision. Every day on the mountain was a frustration and a challenge, but I was never depressed. I used to break out into song randomly. Not here. I want nothing more than to “own” or as I see it, take care of, my own little plot of land and grow the majority of our own diet. I feel good when I garden, connected to the land and the home that matters most to me.
July 8th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I both love and hate home ownership. For one its mine…all mine and unless I stop making payments nobody can take that away from me ( although I think now the government will pay for it?..anyways….I can do what I want to it and make it mine.
What I hate………when it breaks I have to find the money and time to fix it. But for me having a little of both is worth it in the end when my daughter has a place to run and call her home.
July 8th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Isn’t it WONDERFUL to find such a variety of preferences and opinions amongst us.
Personally I have tried both ownership and non-ownership and have found that the latter is a better fit for me as I am NOW.
Currently I spend my year between Hawaii, Bali, and east coast and west coast Australia.I have been travelling for four years, and using some of the money from selling my home has enabled me to do exactly what I want, when I want to do it, and to find out what I REALLY want to do with my life. YES there is “life after work”!
The freedom and flexibility I gained has been TOTALLY liberating, and had changed me from a voracious workaholic and shopaholic to someone who values connection to Spirit, being in nature and the joy of hanging out with good friends far more than anything money can buy.
I LOVE to rent, but I am equally grateful that there are those who LOVE to own and invest – otherwise where would all of us would be renters live????
As they say, “it takes all kinds to make the world”.
Love & BLessings,
IshaRa