Do as I say, not as I do…
The ubiquitous career classic
someone’s age, the basic emotions are just as true for the 45-year-old alum as for the 18-year-old freshman. Those emotions transcend generations.
In many ways, my work is a living, breathing testament to the importance of Life in Pencil. I listen to myself during counseling sessions, and marvel at the sage, wise advice I can deliver in 60 minutes. Seriously…all kinds of gems spring from my lips that seem to imply I’m ALL about this “Life in Pencil” business. But lately, I’ve also noticed something disturbing. In my own, personal life—the life I can actually control—my advice is suddenly shakier. Fear creeps in. Note, if you will, the following example:
Student: “But what will I be able to DO with an English major? Do you have a list of jobs that I can pursue with my specialized interest in Spanish Magic Realism? Maybe it’s just too risky. I can always major in Business…I need to know I can get a job in 4 years.”
“Counselor Anne”, with her wise response: “Honestly, there are no lists. And I cannot tell you what you might do in 4 years with an English degree, because the truth is that you could do numerous things…many of which would probably be productive, and would teach you about yourself. Pay attention to the experiences in life that energize you, and keep pursuing them. I can get you started, and steer you towards opportunities that will help build your resume and get you moving in an initial direction. It’s important to pay the bills, but never ignore the things you love…they just might lead you somewhere important.”
“Real-Life Anne”, later that day: “Honey, do you think I should take a creative writing class? It’s so tempting, but what’s the point? It’s not like I can actually publish anything. I better stick with the projects that guarantee success. If I’d wanted to be a writer, I should have started earlier.”
Hmmmm…apparently it’s only a matter of time before one of my students will unveil my hypocrisy, and earn the right to say, “Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!” I find it puzzling that I can so wholeheartedly believe every word I say to my students, but forget it all when it comes to my own goals and dreams. My words simply lose their power. Someone tell me why it’s so hard to take risks–to make changes.
Hopefully, someday I’ll internalize my own words of wisdom. Until then, I ask you: Do as I say, not as I do.
On a lighter note, I found this photo while looking for a meaningful picture symbolizing a "fork in the road". This is what I get for being metaphorical and cliche.
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:07 am
Anne, if it helps any, I used to feel the EXACT same way when I was starting out as a career counselor. I often felt like a fraud who was terrified of being “found out,” as I wondered how I could delivered such reasoned words to my clients when my own life felt so unsure and chaotic.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:43 am
At least you can see that you should follow your own advice. As long as we’re dusting off cliches, how about “Knowing is half the battle”? I hope you did end up enrolling in that creative writing class. Sounds like it’s “write” up your alley. (Ooh, SO bad, I know. But I couldn’t resist. I’m Dad’s daughter after all…)
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm
This is a fitting post for us. After just returning from our travels, I ask Chris the cliched question nearly every day “what color is your parachute.” It seems now more than ever we’re struggling with what we should do with our lives and how exactly to enact change.
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Jodi–Vacations/travel have a way of bringing up all those questions, don’t they?
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Take the class, take the class, take the class!
August 5th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Anne, you and Elizabeth are both trained counselors, right? You both know each other fairly well and you both have an ability to relate your thoughts and feelings to each other.
In a formal “academic” setting, what advice would you give Elizabeth to help her find a fulfillng destiny. At the same time, what advice or direction would Elizabeth give to you which might prove to be helpful to your quest? You ladies ought to give it a try. The results could be very interesting, couldn’t they?