Being Fair
Posted by Elizabeth
I consider myself to be not just young, but young at heart, a risk-taker who prides herself on trying just about anything once. But when the agency announced that Monday would be “Big Brothers Big Sisters Day” at the New Mexico State Fair, I hesitated. I knew my Little Sister, Donna, who is 12, was dying to go to the fair, her primary destination being the Midway, a place that strikes fear in my heart. The last time an outing had revolved around rides was shortly after we were matched in 2007, a trip to Albuquerque’s legendary Cliff’s Amusement Park, and I still shudder just thinking about it. After a full day of being subjected to such stomach-turners as “The Sidewinder,” “The Falling Star,” and, my personal “favorite,” “The Cliff Hanger,” which dropped us issuing blood-curdling screams several stories at the speed of gravity, I returned home sporting a splitting headache and a mean sunburn, vowing, “Never again.” But the agency was offering free unlimited ride passes, parking, food vouchers, and admission to the fair, a nearly $100 value that I didn’t feel would be fair to Donna, a kid who rarely gets to do anything fun, to pass up. So I put my petty insecurities aside, bucked up, and convinced myself that this time would be different.
Ugh.
Despite my best efforts to be young and fun, nothing makes you feel older than carnival rides. I pinched my eyes shut on the Tilt-a-Whirl, and shrieked when The Hurricane dipped up and down as it spun us in wide circles. Although I was surrounded by children more than 20 years my junior, my knuckles grew white from clutching the metal safety bar too hard. “Hold on tight,” I yelled to Donna over the whir of the machinery, fretting as she threatened to let her legs dangle from the car. I tried desperately to appear hip and laid-back, but failed miserably when I refused to go on what looked to be a very unsafe paragliding ride. I felt like a fuddy duddy when I debated the relative merits of riding the Spacetron 2000, as throngs of third graders fearlessly filed in before me. The day finally ended when we attempted an octopus-like ride that lifted us high above the fair one too many times, our stomachs positively aching. As we regained our sea legs and ambled towards the car, Donna moaned, “Man, I used to love the State Fair, but I’m getting too old for this!”
September 17th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Way to be such a good sport, Elizabeth! I agree with you that there’s something disconcerting about rides that are designed to make you fear for your life, and also designed to be transported to new locations several times a year. They just can’t be stable! Nevertheless, it was very cool of you to take Donna. I hope you felt vindicated and not betrayed that she was in your camp all along!
September 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I have ALWAYS hated roller coasters. Seriously…I just don’t get them. Coasters provided me with early opportunities to defy peer pressure and stay on firm ground while everyone else tried not to barf their sno-cones. I don’t know if I could have done it…I’m impressed with your fearlessness! And I’m sure Donna appreciated it too.
September 17th, 2009 at 10:05 am
When I was about 14 years old, I made a deal with God while I was riding the Octopus at a travelling fair in my home town. I don’t remember the details of my deal, but at least it worked well enough to get me safely off the stupid ride!
September 17th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I HATE carnival rides! They are–in order of detestability (new word): noisy; nauseating; expensive; dirty; and dangerous. My offspring will tell you that even though we took them, occasionally, to the midway, they knew, they KNEW I hated it and that it was in their best interests not to enjoy it too much in my presence. It is twisted and unnatural to be turned upside down, dropped, rolled and bounced until you fear for your life. Life in Pencil does not require such huge doses of insanity.
September 17th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
I would like to assure all members of Anne’s family that NO roller coasters were involved in my day at the fair!
September 17th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Not too long back the kids picked up on the fact that any kid whose parents REALLY loved them took them to Disney Land. I cannot express the horror that passes before me as I contemplate such a venture. But I don’t want to deny them their chance for fun and funnel cakes. Kudos Liz.
September 18th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Disneyland is WAY more fun than carnival rides any day. At least it has themes and other things that go along with the experience; it’s not JUST about the rides, many of which are not horrifying.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Both my boys love roller coasters – and I have to say I enjoy being the fuddy duddy, explaining to them that Mommy barf is the worst barf of all. I am a willing source for their ribbing. And when I actually go on something, I get huge kudos. It works for me.
September 21st, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I also had a traumatic experience on the Octopus ride when I was seven. My face turned green and after repeated howls, the operator stopped the ride prematurely to allow me off. I wasn’t embarrassed one bit, just happy to be off that ride. I propose a ban for the Octopus!
September 25th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Loved this post! I just recently went to the Maryland State Fair and felt so old (such a fuddy dud as you said) for refusing to go on the rides. Glad I’m not the only one out there …
September 27th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I never go on the State Fair rides. I don’t trust them. Give me cows, pigs, and funny looking chickens and I am happy camper. However, I will take a good Rollercoaster any day!