Have Yourself an Ambivalent(?) Little Christmas
Today we continue our Holiday Season Extravaganza. Between now and December 25, we will share what it means to celebrate the holidays — Life in Pencil style.
Posted by Anne
Ah, the holidays. Merriment. Sugar plums. Jimmy Stewart. Joy to the World. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, let’s go ahead and throw in……..the complex amalgamation of nostalgia, sadness, anticipation, and love. Of course, the holidays can be joyous and celebratory. But we all know they can be a tad emotionally complicated. It’s just that we’re told to ignore those inconvenient feelings—tuck them away, and get in the holiday spirit! Thus, you won’t find your helping of holiday ambivalence in the racks of your neighborhood Hallmark, and certainly not in the latest syrupy sweet Zales commercial. But if you listen hard, you’ll hear it. Because it’s playing in the drugstore, the doctor’s office, and the grocery store. And it’s one of our nation’s most treasured holiday anthems. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
Despite its cheery title, the song is anything but. It’s actually a startlingly accurate description of the inherent sadness and nostalgia that haunts us through the holidays. Or at least it used to be. But you wouldn’t know, because the song’s lyrics have morphed through time…constructed to match the emotions we’re supposed to feel…authentic or not. Let me explain.
From the movie...how bout that dress? And those bangs?
Perhaps you’re already aware of this, but the original version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was written for the film, Meet Me in St. Louis—incidentally, one of my favorite movies. In its original context, Judy Garland bursts into this tune after learning that her family must move to another state—leaving behind their friends and home (and her brand-new beau). She stares out a window, bravely attempting to bolster the resilience of her adorable little sister, while struggling to conceal her own holiday woes. And here’s what she sings:
Someday soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Yep, that’s right. Muddle through. Not exactly a phrase we hear much of throughout the holidays. And yet, for how many people is this precisely what the holidays require? As much as we choose to ignore it, the holidays are tough. We miss people more than we ever did before. We miss family who live miles and miles away. There are people who symbolize the holidays to us…people who have passed on, leaving us to silently grieve in the light of a sparkling Christmas tree or shiny Menorah. We miss them horribly. But what do we do? We muddle through.
But you won’t hear those lyrics anymore. Why? Because they were erased—the unpalatable complexity of holiday emotions has been chucked, in favor of a culturally acceptable alternative. Here are the lyrics you know:
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
I understand. To “hang a shining star” sounds a bit more festive than muddling. And I imagine it’s meant to convey hope. But when I hear it, I’m afraid it rings false to me. It feels like a sort of manufactured joy…the kind we’re told to feel every December. Our culture expects it, and we try to obey. Perhaps I’m being a downer, but it seems to me that this exchange of lyrics is the quintessential embodiment of our common holiday routine. Shelve away the difficult, and bring on the happy. After all, it’s more pleasant for everyone else, if not real.
I admit…I love the holidays. Adore them and look forward to them. I sing carols, trim the tree, worship at church, and bake sugar cookies. And I wish the same joy for everyone. But if your holiday is a hard one? I hope you find the courage to experience the season for everything it is—generous, loving, AND emotionally conflicted. Go ahead and muddle through…because there’s nothing wrong with that.
Have you ever had to “muddle through” a holiday season?
P.S. Interested in seeing all the old lyrics? There are actually three versions…check out this fantastic article for more thoughts on the pressure to Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
December 7th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Thank you for your musical archeology work! I had no idea these were the original lyrics, which of course are much better than the whitewashed version.
Yes, I’ve definitely muddled through the holidays, many times. Our house has been HQ for my husband’s family forever – his brother and sister are unmarried and “therefore” do not host. Christmas often boils down to a series of really huge extra projects and responsibilities, leaving everyone overwrought and wrung out. The worst was the time my very eccentric (in a bad way) uncle called to invite himself up from Florida for Christmas. He was demanding, ungrateful, and uncouth. To say that his presence challenged my Christian values is a gross understatement. But we did indeed muddle though, and now he’s dead (of natural causes), and I’m glad I didn’t turn him away that time.
December 7th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Anne this is one of my favorite movies too. Nothing like watching it around Christmas and wishing I could dress up and go dancing at a Christmas party. It also makes me miss home! Great post, I love reading all of them.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Muddling through is what a good majority of the people around us do during the holidays. I often wonder if it is not the norm, even though hidden. I wrote, many years ago, a poem about it that can be found in this blog entry – http://nickisnook.net/2009/11/10/the-holidays-approach-2/
December 7th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Since my mom died, every year has some degree of muddling. (Christmas came four weeks after my mom died, so that one was a particularly muddle-heavy year. I remember how bizarre and incongruous it was to be shopping for an outfit for her memorial service while Christmas music blared from every store — I grabbed the first thing I saw that fit and got out of the mall as quickly as humanly possible.) Some years bring more muddling than other, and it gets better, but it’s hard for me to read the incessant parade of Facebook status updates that boldly proclaim, “I LOVE the holidays!!!!!” I love them, too, but then I also hate them. Thanks for addressing the complexity of the season. I definitely prefer the old lyrics, too.
December 7th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
No, “muddling through” doesn’t really lend itself to scripty artistic font on the front of a greeting card. (Although, wouldn’t that be funny?) Thankfully I don’t yet have enough baggage that the holidays require muddling through. But this is my first year of juggling a job, a child, and the holidays and it’s markedly more difficult than I would have imagined. Striving for that “Life in Pencil” balance more than ever these days!
December 7th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I brace for muddling every year. From Halloween to the New Year I’m a walk in closet of emotions and memories, that, like old Christmas sweaters, come out to be aired.
Man I wish I could get my bangs to do that!
December 7th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Anne, very nice post today. You bring up a great point that the holidays are not such a great time for everyone. I’ve had a mixture good and tough ones, which continually adds to my ambivalence.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:14 am
I think if it wasn’t for the muddling, the holidays wouldn’t be as nostalgic as they are. Meaning that, sometimes the holidays bring back mixed emotions and memories that we would rather forget and do throughout the year. But it also allows us to remember the wonderful moments in life that we WOULD forget over time. It helps keep the love that we have or these people fresh in our hearts all year round.
December 14th, 2009 at 6:17 am
I think that the commercialization of America has led all of us to expect everything to ALWAYS be picture perfect. We stress that the house doesn’t look good enough, that the food isn’t fancy enough, the presents are special enough. And our culture only increases the pressure. So we are striving to expectations we can’t possibly meet.
We have made a big effort in the last few years to turn down our holiday craziness. Gather around those we really love, spend more time together, spend less money on gifts. It has been wonderful and very liberating!