Oh No, 3-0
Posted by Anne
Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. The birthday that’s been explored in movies, television, greeting cards, and self-help books. The big 3-0.
And truthfully, I can’t say I’m all that concerned. Life is sprinkled with these “milestone” birthdays—birthdays that signal to us that it’s time to feel a specific emotion. Perhaps because I’ve never felt exactly my age, I’ve never really experienced the culturally appropriate emotions that come with these milestone birthdays. Let’s consider…
- Age 13: I became a teenager. This was supposed to be exciting. Inside, I was really not a fan of growing up. Being a “teenager” just sounded stressful to me.
- Age 16: Okay, yes, I was excited to start driving. One birthday that meant everything it was supposed to.
- Age 18: Becoming an “adult”. This one? Yeah, very anticlimactic. Since I had no real desire to smoke cigarettes and already felt like a 25-year-old in an 18-year-old body, the drama was lost on me. For my party that year, I saw Titanic with a bunch of girlfriends. Is that embarrassing? A little.
- Age 21: Legal purchaser of alcohol. Kinda feels like there should be something else to this one, doesn’t it?
Not me, but certainly could be.
I’ve moved through these birthdays, always celebrating, and never truly feel much different than I did the day before. But I wonder if birthdays will change as I continue to grow older. Up to now, all those milestone birthdays have been about the expectation of something new. The excitement of achieving a special status, a special privilege. Turning 30 seems to place you in a different category. It’s the first time I’ll see greeting cards that make jokes about my age—the first time I’ll experience a milestone birthday that’s more about something ending (youth, presumably) than something beginning.
And yet, despite this shift in the tone of Hallmark birthday cards, 30 is one of the first birthdays (in the past several years) that I’ve truly anticipated. Call me crazy, but I’m actually excited for this one, folks. There are certainly days when I feel like a perpetual 25-year-old, pretending at this thing called adulthood. But most of the time? I feel like I’ve been 30 forever—and my age is finally catching up with my soul inside.
30 truly does mark a milestone, and it’s not just about the foray into “getting older”. For those heading down the traditional “buy a house, start a family” path, it seems that 30 is the signal to get started. Of course, this doesn’t appeal to everyone. It’s probably frustrating to many. And truly there should be no “timeline” for such life changes. But to me? You bet…it’s darn appealing. And so this birthday—so often portrayed as the end of youth—feels more like a beginning to me. The beginning of a new phase of life.
But there’s also a challenge buried beneath my excitement. This new decade of life awakens that obsessive planner inside me. I may be at the cusp of a new beginning, but I hope to approach it with calmness and flexibility. So perhaps I will try to say goodbye to my 20’s after all. I’ll say goodbye to planning my life before it happens, and will practice the ability to let it just unfold. And that would be a true sign of maturity. I hope I succeed.
How did it feel to turn 30? Did you dread it, or welcome it? Or somewhere in-between?
January 12th, 2010 at 6:24 am
I don’t remember turning 30. I remember watching a baseball game – post season – as a 31 year old. I didn’t register how old I was. The announcers were talking about a player and saying he was 29. I made some comment to my then-husband about the player being my age. He snarked back that I should really think about that as I was not 29 anymore. Lo and behold, I did think and was 31. Oops! Don’t know where those years went.
I vividly, though, remember turning 40. I do not remember it because it is my birthday or because 40 is some great milestone. I was born on Sept 11, 1961. My 40th birthday was in 2001. I now celebrate with great gusto my birthday as it will always be associated with great tragedy. I celebrate to help honor those who were going about their lives that day and did not see their next birthdays.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:40 am
For me, so far, it’s been the mid0-points that were difficult. I hated 25, but didn’t mind 30. I think there’s something about that x5 that sneaks up on you. Whereas when you hit the next decade mark you’ve been bracing yourself for five years and you’re ready for it.
By the way… Happy Birthday!!!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Well I will turn 30 in May, and really to me its just a birthday, nothing exciting. I don’t know if that is because I will be one month away from my due date or because to me age is just a number and turning 30 holds no significants. I am not really sure. It could also be that it will be another quite day at home with the family, because having a huge party would include drinking which at 9 months pregnant I really shouldn’t be doing.
Well Happy Birthday Anne!!!! Enjoy your 30th and here is to your soul and age cathing up with eachother.
January 12th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Turning 30 was great! My 30th birthday and the celebration of it was/is my favorite birthday so far (you were there, Anne). I wasn’t “worried” about turning 30 and I didn’t feel old in doing so. I don’t feel old now that I’m in my 30s. My 30s have been marked by *big* changes and life transitions, huge accomplishments, and a major health crisis, and through all of that, I have felt more and more myself. I think my 30s have been about really starting to come into my *self*, about being more comfortable in my skin, about moving into who I want to become. I am hoping that they continue that way and that the 40s bring even more of that comfort and sense of self. My yours be filled with more comfort and ease in you. Happy Birthday!!!!! xoxo
January 12th, 2010 at 11:18 am
I’m not proud of this, but I remember being mad at my group of friends for not marking my 30th with flowers. We had been in a flower-sending frenzy that year, and everyone else got them for other reasons…so I just assumed I would receive my bouquet when I turned 30. I did not, and I never told them I was mad, nor did I ever tell anyone about it ever – until Life In Pencil.
That said, let me tell you that all throughout your 30s and most of your 40s, you are still young. By the big 50, one has definitely hit the middle ages.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Thanks for the b-day wishes, all! Sounds like I truly don’t have much to worry about. Nicki–wow. A hard birthday to be sure. And Jennifer–glad you could finally out your disappointment on LiP! Glad to hear I’m still young.
January 14th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Happy belated birthday!! I loved turning 30 — I felt like a real grownup and was ready for the respect that comes with the 3… 40 was another story. I’m still lamenting.