Dear You
Posted by Elizabeth
Dear You,
How are you? Can you hear me alright? I know my voice probably sounds a little muffled, but I have some important words I want to share with you; words that I hope you’ll always remember.
It’s hard to believe that, just mere weeks ago, you were but a glimmer in my consciousness. But even in that short amount of time you’ve already changed my life. It’s hard to believe that I was so ambivalent about your existence for nearly 32 years, and that in 12 short weeks you’ve wiped away the slate of doubts. Before you came along, I wondered what you’d take away from my comfortable life, if the trade off could possibly be worth it. But I took the plunge, the ultimate leap of faith, reasoning that I had accomplished the big things I wanted to in my life. I earned my graduate degree, and traveled around the world, and have had plenty of fun and adventure along the way. It dawned on me one day last fall that you wouldn’t be keeping me from doing anything I couldn’t do with you in tow. Although having you was never a foregone conclusion — many will undoubtedly be shocked by the news of your arrival — now that it’s happening I can’t imagine it being any other way. I’ve surprised myself by how quickly I’ve embraced this change, how excited I am for your arrival. Even though I wasn’t completely sure when I made that great dive down the rabbit hole, I guess I really was ready for you.
Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what you look like, what you are like. Are you a boy or a girl (we already have a name picked for you if you’re a girl, but if you’re a boy we’ve got some work to do)? Do you have your dad’s brown eyes or my blue eyes? Do you have my thin lips or your dad’s full ones? My little nose or your dad’s proud one? Do you lean towards math and science, like him, or English and the arts, like me? Do you hate olives and seafood and pickles as much as I do? Do you share your dad’s penchant for spicy foods (after eating that roasted pepper pasta dish a few weeks ago, I don’t think so)? Are you even-keeled and quiet like your dad, or fiery and impatient like me? Most likely, you are some of these things…and none of these things. You are your own person.
We have a lot to learn about one another, and before we get too far, here’s what you should know about me and the life you’re about to be born into. I love change, a good life project, being goofy, and telling stories, so I think you’ll like me when you’re little. As you climb into your teen years, though, I suspect your dad might be better at this parenting thing. I’m more of a morning person than your dad, so go easy on him in that department: I’ll be up at the crack of dawn with you, but if you’re looking for a night owl, he’s your man. I tend to worry a lot; in fact, I’ve already done my fair share of worrying about you. I even worry about worrying about you too much. It’s just that I don’t want you to grow up to be anxious and neurotic like I am. When you get older, I know you will roll your eyes and tell me to stop worrying so much. And I’ll try; I really will. But just know I worry because I love you.
I love to spend time in the kitchen, and already have dreams of us cooking alongside one another, so I hope you like that, too. Your dad and I both love to read The New York Times on Sunday mornings, but I have a sneaking suspicion that those days are about to come to a close for awhile (although, if you, too, are a fan, let me know and I won’t cancel the subscription). We enjoy eating out, and if you’re good, I promise we’ll take you out a lot. Oh, and we love to travel, and plan to take you everywhere with us. In fact, you’ve already been to Mexico (weren’t those carnitas from the market fabulous?), and before you’re born you’ll add three more stamps to your passport.
I know it won’t always be easy. I know our life is in for a monumental change, and that you’ll be at the center of the whirlwind. I know there will be times when you’ll drive me crazy, when I’ll plead with you to stop crying, when I’ll wonder why you did this or didn’t do that. I know you’ll probably feel equally frustrated with me, too, wondering why I simply can’t understand. But through it all, I know that we’ll love each other.
When it’s finally time for you to be born, will you make me a promise? Will you try to work with me? Know that I’ll be doing my best, but I’ll need your help, too. In return, I promise that I’ll do my best to help you to grow into the person you were born to be, not the person I’d like you to be. Because maybe you’ll prefer playing soccer to being my sous chef. I’d like to believe that I’ll be always be an open and accepting mother, no matter the circumstance, but the reality is that at times this will hard for me. In fact, it might be the hardest lesson I have yet to learn in life.
Baby, your dad and I can’t wait to meet you on August 31st (give or take a few days). We’ve got a lot to do to get ready for you – turns out, you need a lot of stuff – but we’ll be prepared. Or, at least as prepared as we can be. Until then, keep growing healthy and strong, and I’ll do my part to make sure you have everything you need to do just that. Even though we’ve never met, I already love you.
Love,
Your Mom
PS: Thanks for not making me sick. I really appreciate it. I’m sure you’ll think of some way that I can repay you in the near future.
Although I hate to insult the intelligence of our bright readership, in the off chance that you didn’t catch on, The Waiting Game is over! For those of you who suspected this (and I know there are many of you in this category), I am happy to confirm that I am indeed pregnant, due August 31. Do you know what a hard secret this has been to keep from you all? I have been busting at the seams to share the good news with you! While I’ll strive not to bore you with the details, I hope this new life adventure can provide excellent fodder and many life lessons for all of us who are better trying to live our lives “in pencil.”
Oh, and for those of you who are curious, pictured above is my first ultrasound, taken at about 8 weeks. Apparently, I am giving birth to The Blob.
This post was written as part of Momalom’s Love It Up Challenge, where bloggers are encouraged to write a “love letter” to someone or something. I thought this was the perfect way to share the news with you all (and, I hope, will be a happy memento for the baby book).
February 12th, 2010 at 5:37 am
Beautiful in every way — and just in time for Valentines Day. As I said, you are going to be terrific. And I can’t think of a better way to live Life In Pencil.
February 12th, 2010 at 6:52 am
As you’re already aware, I’m incredibly happy for you and “Dad”:) Lovely tribute, and yes…save this one.
February 12th, 2010 at 7:11 am
“Life in Pencil” is about to take on new meaning! Congrats to you and Maikael and The Blob! And a lovely post.
February 12th, 2010 at 7:30 am
Congrats to you and Maikael! The Blob will be a joy that you can’t even imagine yet.
February 12th, 2010 at 7:54 am
Congratulations to you both! So exciting! There is nothing, NOTHING, like the excitement of your first pregnancy. And hey, if you need help coming up with boy names, Emily and I have special expertise in that area.
February 12th, 2010 at 8:08 am
OMG Elizabeth!!!!!!!!!!! That is so exciting I am so happy for the both of you. You have this prego crying at her desk!!!
February 12th, 2010 at 8:42 am
CONGRATULATIONS Elizabeth!! This is so exciting! You’ll be a wonderful mother!
February 12th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Hooray! Wonderful! I am so thrilled to hear this news and to welcome you into the sorority of motherhood.
I know that you will be forever grateful for having taken the time to write this letter to the Blob because it reveals so much about you, your plans, your hopes. What a lovely way to introduce him or her to your penciled-in dreams for your life together.
Congratulations!
February 12th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Awesome News! A little Virgo on the way! so exciting! They say if you aren’t sick it’s a boy so you should start thinking up some boy names! Congrats!!!!
February 12th, 2010 at 9:09 am
It goes without saying that you and Maikael are going to be the best parents ever. I couldn’t be happier for you both, and I know your mom is, too. Get your pregnant ass up to Seattle so we can throw you a big ol’ party!
February 12th, 2010 at 9:10 am
I REALLY think it’s a girl, but I’ve heard that wives’ tale, too, Cybele (in fact, now that I think of it, nearly everyone who’s told me they weren’t sick had boys). However, I’ve also heard faster heart beats = girl, and this one is at the top of the range, so who knows? Maybe it’s time to start a LiP Betting Pool? And yes, a Virgo. Does anyone know anything about Virgos? Between Maikael and I, we know not one single Virgo.
February 12th, 2010 at 9:15 am
Mary, I have had a LOT of dreams with my mom + baby since I’ve been pregnant. All really positive and reassuring dreams, but it’s been interesting. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll try to get my pregnant ass up there before that pregnant ass gets too big to travel!
February 12th, 2010 at 9:48 am
Hooray that is amazing news. Having a baby is everything that you’ve ever heard, only more so, because you always believed that everyone else was exaggerating! Congrats!
February 12th, 2010 at 9:54 am
Blob? Blob? Hey nobody calls MY grandchild a blob and gets away with it!
The ultrasound people have obviously captured the image of an angel but they may not be old enough yet to recognize it. Take that picture back to them, along with a picture of your mom, and teach those people what real angels look like! (Throw in a picture of yourself and Maikael if they need more evidence!)
Congratulations to you and Maikael on your heaven-sent treasure. You have both been truly blessed.
All my love,
Grandpa Daddo
February 12th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Grandpa Daddo, not only is it a Blob, it’s a Blob living in a sausage.
February 12th, 2010 at 10:22 am
The “trade off” is beyond a doubt worth it. There will come a day you have trouble remembering (nor do you want to!) the pre-parenthood days.
Congratulations to you both. I am beyond happy for you, and look forward to many pictures, and updates that I promise I won’t find boring!
YAY!
Brenna
February 12th, 2010 at 10:58 am
You know Elizabeth…..I just knew Madsion was a girl from about week 8. I say a mother knows she just really needs to listen. You seem so intune to that little one, I wouldn’t bet against you. And by the way I have a friend with 2 boys, and she was very sick with both.
February 12th, 2010 at 11:21 am
Well, you’ve put my mind at ease, Danyiel, because I REALLY want a girl (although I have to insert the obligatory “but I’ll be happy with whatever” statement).
February 12th, 2010 at 11:55 am
This was a good time to return home and get back online for the Big News Announcement! Happy wonderful congratulations to you. So what is your daughter’s name already?
February 12th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
I know exaclty what you mean Elizabeth.
I felt the same way, and still do.
February 12th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Can’t say, Nikki! We’re keeping it a secret…for now.
February 12th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
OH BABY!
February 12th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Talk about change! You are about to embark on an amazing journey. I love being a mother more than anything else. And each phase gets better and better.
Do you know that I began to dread the day my son would leave home before he was even born!
I am so happy for you–and the wonderful change in your lives.
February 12th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
So, so, so happy for you!!!
February 13th, 2010 at 7:20 am
Ohmigosh! What happy news! I’m just getting to know you, and now I’ll be getting to know you +1! Congrats! I wish you a smooth and happy pregnancy!
February 13th, 2010 at 9:37 am
That is the most beautiful blob I’ve seen since Maikael and Jim were born. You know who the most excited grandmother is! Love to all three of you.
February 13th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Perfectly lovely.
February 13th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Congratulations….and what a beautiful post!
February 13th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
CONGRADULATIONS! Children are the greatest gift in the world. I never believed it till I had mine and believe me it’s true!
I know I haven’t written in a while and I missed both you girls. But as the freaky blond girl in Poltergeist said, “I’m back!” (actually she said “there here” but you get the idea)
February 13th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Congratulations, Elizabeth! And thanks for letting us all join in your celebration. I think yours is my favorite Momalom “Love it up” letter so far.
Eva
February 13th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Congratulations! And what a great letter to the baby-to-be! A quick tour through the world he or she will be entering, a visit with mom and dad.
February 14th, 2010 at 11:31 am
So many congratulations for you. There is nothing like a first baby. NOTHING. Enjoy it, ponder it, let that glow shine.
Thank you soooo much for linking this up to Love It Up. It’s a perfect addition for V-day!!!
Sarah
February 14th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Congratulations!!! What a wonderful blessing!
February 15th, 2010 at 6:02 am
I haven’t even finished reading this post, but had to chime in. YAY!!!! I am so excited for you. Okay, must go back and finish reading.
YAY!!!!!!!
February 15th, 2010 at 6:06 am
Okay, finished reading and I am back. What a priceless letter and what incredible news. I can’t wait to hear all your stories as you await for the arrival of your little one. And I can’t wait to watch you step into the role of mother. What a wonderful role it is. Yay!!!
February 15th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
What a beautiful way to share the news. We’re so, so happy for you and Maikael. Can’t wait to meet the little one in the fall!
February 15th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Congrats to both of you… Jill and I just read this, and we both wished we knew how to write better to capture moments such as this in our own lives. Enjoy every moment!
February 17th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
I read about your news on Aidan’s Ivy League Insecurities, and then had to stop by while re-reading all the Momalom Love It Up posts. Congratulations. This was a beautiful letter. It made me smile and remember my two pregnancies, and think of my 2 boys asleep in their beds. Get ready: you are in for the ride of your life. Not all of it will be good, but I can say with absolute certainty that it will be well worth it.Try and enjoy every moment of the pregnancy..from someone who worried throughout her pregnancies and still worries that she worries too much! (And yes, sad to say, my first son took after me in that department…)
February 20th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
This is so lovely. I read it last week and didn’t have time to comment at the time. You brought me back to those days of first pregnancy. As it turns out I was very very sick and I didn’t write a letter to my soon-to-be first born. But I thought so many of the things you have written here. It is such an exciting and all-consuming time, the preparation for motherhood. You are in for the adventure of your life. Welcome.
February 20th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
[...] hope Elizabeth from Life in Pencil will enjoy the package coming her way. Elizabeth’s entry, Dear You, struck me to the core. In a letter to her unborn first child, she captures the all-encompassing [...]
February 20th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Wow! What a great way to share your news, I’m sure your child will love knowing how you felt in these days before he/she arrived. I wrote a love letter to each of my children before they were born too but I waited until the last few days before their impending births, lucky for me none of them decided to come early
Much congratulations!!
February 20th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
The tears are flowing down my face as I read this. I am not sure how I missed this Love It Up submission from Momalom. I can now see why they chose it. Heartfelt. Beautiful. Accurate.
Congratulations. Motherhood is indeed an adventure of a lifetime. It is also the best adventure.
Can’t wait to come back and read more from you and Anne.
February 21st, 2010 at 7:39 am
Elizabeth,
Just lovely…Congratulations on winning the Love It Up Challenge and I will be checking back often to read about this new chapter in your lives. You are in for the time of your life!
February 21st, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Congratulations on the sweet Blob, and for winning the Love It Up challenge. You deserve it!
February 21st, 2010 at 8:13 pm
You and I are so similar! I could have written this exact letter to my little peanut (who is 5 weeks old today!) And it sounds like our husbands are pretty similar, too.
Congratulations on the newest addition to your family. Such a beautiful letter. Oh, and congrats on winning Love It Up!