Bringing Back Playtime
Posted by Anne
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
-Plato
Do you agree with Plato? I admit—I struggle with this quote. As someone who thoroughly enjoys a good gab-fest (preferably accompanied by caffeine), it’s hard to imagine anything as effective as conversation when it comes to connecting with another person. And yet—this quote has been on my mind lately.
I heard this little Plato nugget for the first time last week at a large gathering for all the Student Affairs professionals at my university. (You know, the perky people who work for universities—not as professors—but the “life” educators.) As a group, we gather about 3 times a year to listen to our Dean or Provost talk about our work, our students, and our goals. There’s usually coffee. And discussion. I like these kinds of meetings. But this one was different. After the usual “state of the union” (as I call it) by our Vice Provost, we were divided into 3 different groups, and asked to participate in a series of “healthy” activities aimed at creating more “balance” and “self-care”. This may seem foreign to some of you in the corporate world, but to me? This actually seemed quite normal. But there was a hitch. One of the rotations indicated two different options for some form of play. That’s right…play. One was even…juggling. When I read the schedule, I had three immediate thoughts…
- Isn’t there some alternative option? Do I really need to juggle this morning to achieve balance in my life?
- If I do participate in the juggling, how on earth am I supposed to hold my coffee?
- Seriously…there’s got to be some other option.
As it turns out, there were some alternatives. One on mindfulness and meditation, and one involving some reflection and quiet contemplation. They were nice and quiet. I didn’t have to interact with anyone else. I was able to hold my coffee. And you know? They did nothing for me. Probably because I already do a boat-load of “reflecting” in my life, these activities actually fell a little flat. And so I wonder—would I have been better off playing? And even more distressing…
Am I becoming un-fun?
I’ve been thinking about Plato’s words. The people I know best in this world are the ones who’ve joined me in side-splitting laughter. Thought I adore a great conversation with my husband, when was the last time we played a game together? Why must I always connect with people through my conversation?
No, I’m not going to take up juggling. But perhaps there are easier ways to begin? Just a couple days ago, I opened my email to find (hooray!) an e-vite. And even better…for a totally random evening of fun. What’s on the docket? Games. I’ll be honest. I didn’t used to be a big fan of “game” parties. Why can’t we just sip our wine and chat? But something has happened. I’m craving play now. And so my reaction when I read that evite about the prospect of games and laughter was…utter joy. A perfect opportunity to begin…to add play back into my oh-so-reflective life.
Today, my sister (in blogging and real-life) posted a lovely entry about Ash Wednesday, and how she’s adding to her routine rather than giving something up. I’m going to copy her…Icopied her when we were kids, so why not now? Her “addition” during Lent is far more noble, but oh well…I will act the part of the younger and less responsible sister today. Because I’m adding…playtime. It will begin on Friday. I’m going to change. I’m going to sacrifice a little reflection, and add a little play. I’m going to be fun as well as reflective. And I’ll report back next week…
How often do you “play”? Is it easier to play when you have kids? Or are you more of a conversation kind of person?
February 17th, 2010 at 6:51 am
I think it’s interesting how adults turn play into competition. Running, kicking a ball, throwing a ball, hitting a ball, sliding down a snowy hill. And, for some of you (you know who you are)….fishing!
February 17th, 2010 at 7:22 am
Yes, it is easier to play when you have kids. Hours spent on the floor with Barbies or Legos or toy cars quickly becomes really, really boring.
But I’m enjoying having 3 teenagers, because we can all ski together…or play Scrabble together…or pun together. And yesterday my husband and I went to the Westminster Dog Show and then went to dinner and walked around NYC together, which was definitely play time for grown-ups. Juggling seems like forced fun, which is an oxymoron, isn’t it?
February 17th, 2010 at 7:29 am
Jennifer–Let me take this opportunity to tell you how JEALOUS I am! I’ve always wanted to go to the Westminster Dog Show! Someday…
February 17th, 2010 at 8:02 am
I think as adults we forget to play. Life becomes about being a grown up and having responsibility, who has time for play right? But I think when you have kids they teach you to play all over again, you really have no choice.
I am learning all over again to have some fun in my life, like go to the zoo and just enjoy feeding the fish and eating icecream.
Good Luck on your endevor and let us know how it goes.
February 17th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Anne – I’m so glad you liked my Ash Wednesday post. And I’m glad it inspired you to make your own addition. (Also funny that it was a post of yours that inspired part of my Lenten additions. It’s like we’re sisters or something…)
I’ll echo Jennifer’s comments about play being easier with kids. Granted at 15-months my son’s idea of play doesn’t precisely coincide with mine. But it always involves silliness and laughter, and no reflection!
Have fun at your game night and I can’t wait to hear about it!
February 17th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Anne, this post made me laugh. We’ve been forced to do role-playing at our annual department retreat. In my mind, that is torture. But it is also the most likely part of the retreat to cause side-splitting laughter. Once I get over my insecurity and say “screw it” it’s wildly entertaining.
Apples to Apples is my favorite group game. I recommend that for your totally random evening of fun.
PS – Are you and Gale really sisters?! I follow both of your blogs. How strange, to discover “six degrees of separation” in the virtual world.
February 17th, 2010 at 10:34 am
I’m with you and Eva – never a big fan of the group-bonding games at work retreats. At the last school where I worked they had a ROPES course that they loved to send us climbing up and over. I guess for me the compulsive aspect of those events detracted from any potential spontaneity.
I do love games in general, however, and always have. My family was big into games and many family events ended with epic games of Trivial Pursuit or Taboo.
Enjoy your Lenten addition!
February 17th, 2010 at 11:44 am
While it is easier to play when you have kids, (built in playmate) I have honestly struggled over the years with carving time out to play. It is probably the area that I need to develop more because my initial instinct is NOT to play because there is work to be done. But when I do play, I love it and promise that I will do it more… until the next time…. an onoing process.
February 17th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Yes, Eva! We’re indeed “real life” sisters:) Small world.
February 17th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Text twist is my new addiction. Does that count has play? Playful–joyful–good words, good practice
Play is good. I reminds me of one of my favorite yoga poses, the happy baby pose!
February 17th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
I went through a MAJOR Text Twist addiction whilst in graduate school. And I’ve been DYING to buy Apples to Apples (birthday is coming up May 22, if anyone out there is interested in a birthday gift idea!!).
February 17th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I think we grow up from fun loving kittens and turn into old fat stoogie cats. I get really boring without playtime. Three things shake up the play going on here; trampoline, kids, and kids on the trampoline. With netting.
Oh and we just started a game night once a month had a lot of fun – happy game night!
February 18th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I love group activities during facilitated working sessions but never so much liked playing games with friends or family. Bridge, canasta, poker, seems so bland to me. I tried bunko, but I just can’t concentrate because I want to visit with the people I’m sitting with…on and on. Excuses.
then my significant other wanted to host a game night at our house. We invited just a few people. She selected a couple of high energy games and we settled on pictionary. It was rockin fun! I loved it. Can’t wait to do it again.