Posted by Elizabeth

Yesterday Anne wrote about her comfortable clutter, and what satisfaction it brings to her life.  I, on the other hand, lead a rather cutter-free existence, undoubtedly the result of growing up in a house that was stacked to the rafters with back issues of National Geographic and sagging boxes of stuff.  There was a hospital bed that my dad bought at an auction that took up permanent residence in our garage.  We even had a spare bedroom we affectionately referred to as “The Junk Room,” a space crammed to the gills with old bed frames, discarded furniture, defunct appliances, unloved art work, and enough clothing to outfit a Salvation Army.  If you were looking for a missing object, a Halloween costume, or considering buying something new, my mother would often ask, “Have you looked in The Junk Room yet?”

Because of these experiences, I have all but banished clutter from my household (thank god I didn’t marry a pack rat), and nothing gives me greater delight than my regular pilgrimages to Goodwill.  When Gretchen Rubin admonished me to go clean out my closet, I had to all but restrain myself from making a trip to The Container Store.  Being surrounded by clutter, I feel that typical sense of chaos and disarray, not the warm, cozy feeling that Anne reports.  It dawned on me that everybody’s idea of peace, tranquility, and being in the present looks different. And yet, our ideas of what bring us peace are so culturally prescribed that we might not even be aware of it.  Earth tones.  Spa-like bathrooms.  Those plug-in fountains that people like to put in their offices.  Bamboo.  Asian symbols.  Flowers.  Massages.  Reading a book by the fire.  Taking a quiet walk in nature.  Yoga.  Meditation.  Clean lines.  The ocean.

I could go on, but my point is, as you read this list, there were undoubtedly some words that evoked peaceful images, and others that sounded downright awful.  I know plenty of people who find massages utterly stressful experiences, and others who feel complete tranquility living amongst a bright, bold color palette.  My friend, Emily, recently wrote about the meditative powers of completing a jigsaw puzzle, which she finds to be a particularly peaceful experience.  My mother-in-law finds a great deal of peace in being thrown in amongst a frenetic crowd of shoppers.  Who, along the way, deigned what a peaceful experience is supposed to look like?

On Wednesday night, as Maikael and I discussed our day at the dinner table, he said he wanted more time “to just think.”  What I really think he was saying is that he’s looking for more peace in his life.  “But what does that look like to you?” I asked.  “Is that sitting in a room by yourself, alone with your thoughts, or spending Sunday morning reading The New York Times?”  After thinking (quietly, I might add) for a few moments, he concluded that he does his best thinking when he’s hiking in nature, or in the midst of our disastrous delightful DIY bathroom remodel project.  “Nobody bothers me when I’m doing either of those things,” he said with finality.  In other words, in Maikael’s world, peace = a lack of people.

All of this got me to thinking about what brings me peace.  When are the moments when my mind quiets and wanders, when I feel simultaneously relaxed and alive?  (This is my definition of peace, but I recognize it might not be yours.)  Baking.  Cooking something complicated.  Any type of spa service except for a body wrap.  Swimming in the ocean.  Engaging in a stimulating conversation with a friend.  Going to tea.  My bi-weekly Zumba class.  Browsing through second-hand stores.  Wandering through farmer’s markets.  Looking at folk art.  Learning something new.  Enjoying a truly great meal.  Vibrant colors.  Listening to my iPod while on gym equipment.  Reading a book when I have an embarrassment of time.  Trying new foods in different cultures.  Writing to help, to teach, to enlighten, to educate others.  Taking a bath.

Clearly, very few of these match any sort of traditional definition about peace and tranquility.  In fact, as I studied this list, I noticed that many of these activities are not solitary but social, as energizing as they are relaxing.  But when you are engaged in an activity which feels peaceful to you, you cannot help but be engaged in the present moment.

How do you find peace in this chaotic world?  If you’re not sure, here are some hints to get you started:

1. Define your definition of peace. What does peace “look like” to you?  Do you associate being “at peace” with being alone or being in the company of others?  Is it energizing or relaxing?
2. Discover what brings YOU peace.   What sorts of activities help you feel connected to your definition of peace?  Are they active or passive?
3. Embrace your clutter.  Don’t let home design shows or popular culture tell you what peace and tranquility should look like.  What feels peaceful in your physical environment?  In what ways, big or small, can you work to recreate your unique aesthetic in your home?
4. Make peace affordable. I love massages, but I can’t afford one every week.  While it’s important to indulge in a particularly peaceful activity every so often, it’s more important to find inexpensive or free pockets of peace in your everyday life.
5. Make peace a priority. Once you’ve determined what feels peaceful, determine how you can add more peaceful activities to your life.  Weekend getaways and vacations are great, but how can you add small doses of peace to your daily routine?  Peaceful activities needn’t be splashy, and you’re likely to find that these daily doses will make a more lasting impact than those occasional retreats.