Comments on: Play It Again (and Again), Sam

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:28:09 +0000

Kristen, I love that blog post. Especially what he says about “farming out” the unpleasant parts of life, and how we’re negating the soul-ful work that comes about from doing such work. Your technique reminds me of a version of one I use with myself when I’m ruminating. “Will this kill me? Will my life come crashing down around me?” Usually, the answer is, obviously, “no.”

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:33:07 +0000

Like you and several of the previous commenters, I am a big-time ruminator (ruminant? like a cow?) and a serious dweller.

One tactic that helps me – when I remember to deploy it – is to ask myself: “Will this matter tomorrow? Will this matter next month? Will this matter next year?” Asking these questions helps me decide how much rumination to allow myself.

Bruce at http://privilegeofparenting.com also wrote a very interesting reflection on the Lehrer piece in the Times. I think you would enjoy reading it.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:31:51 +0000

Eva, given the scope of your blog, I appreciate your thoughts on this. In fact, as I read the article and wrote the post, I thought about you. I, too, found it to be a really fascinating article — especially the part about rumination.

By: Eva

Eva — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 19:06:40 +0000

Do I ruminate? Hell yes, I ruminate. Always. On many unimportant things. As my husband says, my mind is always working.

I was very interested to read Lehrer’s article – and view it from my lens of depression. It has taken me all week to fully process the article, going back and reading segments of it, reading many blogs with follow-up comments and interpretations.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, Elizabeth – very helpful.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 12:37:43 +0000

I try not to ruminate. I did, over my step-mother shortly after my father’s death. I finally realized it didn’t matter if I ruminated over her situation, what she was doing. I was “not her child” so she wasn’t listening to my input anyway.

I ruminated over a past relationship until someone gave me a verbal slap up side the head. I didn’t even realize I was doing it but that awakening really made me do a self-check. The re-thinking, re-hashing what went right and what went wrong was stupid. It wasn’t getting the relationship back. That wasn’t going to happen. Think of all the moments I lost instead of just celebrating the happy times I had had and moving on.

Thanks for the morning thoughts, Elizabeth! Love the quote.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:07:47 +0000

Great question, Terry. I think the answer lies in the how greatly it impacts your life. For someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, their compulsions disrupt the otherwise ordinary flow of their life. But even those of us without an obsessive compulsive disorder can sometimes exhibit compulsive behaviors. I think of OCD as being more behavior/action based, where as ruminations are more cognitive/thinking based. I am going to open the floor to my counseling psychologist readers here — I know you’re out there — thoughts?

By: terry

terry — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:07:03 +0000

So here’s a question for you! When does rumination become a Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? I wonder about this as my mind spins out of control at 4AM. Am ruminating or just giving in to my OCD compulsion?

By: Meghan

Meghan — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:04:52 +0000

I really resonate with the end of your post today, Elizabeth. I was just talking with a friend yesterday about how to “structure” my day better in order to truly make time to journal and engage in some other activities that I want to do. I think a very large part of my problem is that I plunge into each day through immediate engagement with email, FB, and blogs first thing in the morning. I want commit to starting my day by engaging in the deeper, quieter activities I keep saying I want to do yet don’t make time for. The internet will still be there after some journal writing, coffee, and reflection!

By: jennifer

jennifer — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:14:07 +0000

I ruminate over an in-law, who has serious “issues.” She is very needy and also infuriating. I also ruminate over problems that crop up with clients. Sometimes our kids are posing huge challenges. In all cases, I find it extremely helpful to go to the gym and work out. A cardio class, a machine, even yoga – all occupy the mind and body and help me feel healthier and more focused as I leave the YMCA. In the old days, when I was a runner, I did a lot of good thinking and problem solving while pounding out the miles.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:55:56 +0000

I love that quote too, Nikki. I think I need to paste it in every room of my house as a reminder! Today I managed to wait two hours before hopping online, and was pretty proud of myself. I FELT better. I’ve considered disconnecting the wireless card from my computer until I really need it — as you said, it’s easy to get swallowed up by the virtual world before you’ve had a chance to ground yourself in the real one.