A Case of the Mondays
Posted by Anne
I started this week in a funk. It was a combination of many factors. There was the fact that it’s been raining for approximately 10 days and I was afraid I might begin to mold. There was the fact it was Monday morning, and the weekend had zoomed by with unparalleled speed. There were everyday issues on my mind, and existential conundrums to sort out. Nothing majorly distressing…just a big old soupy jumble of grumpiness.
So I settled in at my desk at 8:05, and wondered how long I should give myself before I skedaddled off to the coffee shop for a mood-boosting latte. I opened Outlook, yearning to see a blank block of time labeled as “admin time”, so I could expend minimal intellectual energy and continue to wallow in my self-imposed gloom. What did I see? Three back-to-back appointments. Say what?
What had I been thinking? I never schedule a heavy student load on Monday mornings. But there it was—3 appointments with 3 souls in need—in need of my attention, my energy, and my brain. So I practiced the most useful survival mechanism I’ve ever developed. Deep breathing? Wrong. Mindfulness? Nope. Just your run-of-the-mill compartmentalization.
I’m an ace when it comes to compartmentalization. And in case you’re not familiar with this particular psycho-jargon, I’ll describe. Basically, it’s the ability to cognitively shelve one issue on your mind, and make room for something else. In my case, I put my Monday woes in a little compartment of my brain and ignored it for the next 3 hours, so I could help others deal with their own Monday-morning issues…like career indecision and unemployment.
A caveat: You can certainly over-use compartmentalization. And it’s not a long trip from compartmentalization to avoidance. But when used appropriately, I find that it allows me to be productive. And on this particular Monday, it did something else. It cheered me up. As I sat there listening to the infectiously positive young woman in front of me, I heard many things. I heard hope. I heard openness. I heard excitement. And within 5 minutes, she’d effectively drowned out those other voices inside me—insecurity, anxiety, doubt. I was in her world, and it was a much better place to be.
As I thought about it later, I realized that sometimes, the best way to escape the ambiguity of my own life is to simply…focus on someone else. For me, work is an easy and effective tool to accomplish this, but I don’t believe you need to be officially employed to accomplish this shift in focus. There are other options. Volunteering. Getting coffee with a friend and hearing about their life. To dive into someone else’s world can be healing.
To live my life in pencil, there will be days I need to meditate on my challenges—write them, talk them, process them. I can’t always stuff them into tidy compartments of brain matter…if I do, they’ll eventually haunt me. And of course, we can err on the side of spending so much time caring for others, that we forget to care for ourselves. But sometimes, I reach the “enough is enough” threshold when it comes to analyzing my funks, and need to simply step outside myself. My existential crises will always be there when I return–whenever I decide to open that compartment.
Are you a whiz at compartmentalizing? Do you find comfort in a shift of focus when you’re feeling down? Did anyone else have a crummy Monday?
April 6th, 2010 at 5:36 am
Absolutely agree with you, Anne. It’s incredibly useful to focus on other people when feeling overwhelmed or bored in my own life. Never fails to put things in perspective. In the end, I always end up feeling grateful for my own personal set of problems and challenges.
April 6th, 2010 at 6:32 am
I am absolutely terrible at compartmentalizing! I think and think and think about an issue until I resolve it. I talk to everyone I know about it until all of the grueling minutia of the subject are exhausted (as are my poor listeners). It seems so selfish to handle a problem this way, doesn’t it? But you’re right. When I’m caught up in MYSELF (yikes) nothing manages to snap me back quite as well as a good conversation with a good friend – preferably about their life and not mine.
April 6th, 2010 at 7:03 am
I think it’s impressive that you can do this. I’ve heard the expression, but thought ‘compartmentalization’ was a habit, or personality characteristic that a person just had…not one that was consciously developed. Speaking of jargon, is this an example of something in your “toolbox”?
April 6th, 2010 at 8:17 am
Yes, Mom, er, Jan:) Counseling would be impossible without the ability to compartmentalize, I think. Actually…I know when I’m REALLY upset about something if I continue thinking about it WHILE I’m trying to counsel. That’s when I know it’s time for a “mental health day”.
April 6th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Great post — I often compartmentalize without even realizing that I am doing it. And it almost always cheers me up. In fact, there are certain people who I know will take my mind off my troubles — and they don’t even know their role in my change in attitude. This works wonders for a grumpy mood but I agree that important matters that need attention should not be shoved too far back into that space. Lately I have been forgetting where I have left them!!
April 6th, 2010 at 10:18 am
this week started out fine. My crummy week was last week. Simply awful at work. It invaded my space at home and that NEVER happens. Not sure that compartmentalization worked as much as just getting some much needed perspective.
April 6th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Yes! Yes, yes, yes. It’s true, compartmentalizing can be such an effective coping tool. I have to remind myself of this. I have a bad morning – wake up on the wrong side of the bed, fight with the husband, etc. – but then when I get to work I can shift gears. And it’s amazing how it can make you feel better.
Plus, I think setting a worry aside for awhile then coming back to it can provide good perspective. Things seem clearer, maybe less serious with a fresh viewpoint.
April 6th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
I do this also, but usually without realizing it. And I too find that shifting my focus can not only help me find something happier to occupy myself with, but also to give myself a bit of a break. Sometimes that space is as valuable as the diversion itself.