Coming of Age
Posted by Anne
When I was 14 years old, I had no desire to be a teenager. I was in denial of my own adolescence, preferring to spend my angst-filled energy separating myself from the
Quite possibly my favorite teen movie of all time. And one of my favorite movies ever.
quintessential image of the American teenager. I read Austen instead of Cosmo. I shopped at Laura Ashley instead of…well…anything trendy. And a funny thing happened…
I turned 19. And I became fascinated by teenagers the second I was no longer a teenager. The identity I denied for so long became an identity for which I felt nostalgia…even fondness. It started harmless enough. Clueless. The Princess Diaries. But by the time I reached graduate school, I was looking for ways to weave adolescent psychology into my research, and sneaking episodes of Lizzie Maguire in between dense journal articles.
I’ve been asked many times about my fascination with teenagers. And for the longest time, even I didn’t understand it. The adolescent years can be a wasteland of insecurity, pain, and poor fashion decisions. Why revisit that particular slice of the past?
...and my favorite "coming of age" novel. Read it.
Plain and simple, I have a soft spot for teens. For their drama, their insecurity, and most of all…for their bourgeoning sense of self. (Note: I’m pretty sure I would have despised the word “bourgeoning” in reference to myself at age 15 or 16—my hips were bourgeoning far too much for my taste.) I love the drama that rises to the surface when adult issues collide with childhood insecurities. It’s intense. It’s melodramatic. And it’s the stuff of darn good storytelling. It rests comfortably within my favorite film and literary genre of all time. Coming of Age.
What defines a coming of age experience? In my favorite films and books, I can point to a climax or an inciting event that shoves the character into the grey ambiguity of adulthood. But in my own life, I often feel as though I’m wading in and out of a constant string of coming-of-age experiences. Though I’ve long since run the gauntlet of adolescence, I never really feel that I’ve “arrived”. And in a sense, Life in Pencil honors this very adult process of rewriting our goals, our lifestyles, our plans, and sometimes even our sense of self. These are rich stories, to be sure. And these are the stories most pertinent to my current reality. So why not stay immersed in these present challenges, instead of backtracking to a phase of life I’ve left behind?
I’m not sure, but there’s something about those adolescent experiences—both my own and others’—that piques my interest and beckons me back to the YA section of my local Borders. The Life in Pencil stories there are different. Teens aren’t rewriting their lives so much as tentatively sketching an initial version of themselves—erasing, rewriting, erasing, rewriting—almost spastically, until they come into their own. Until some semblance of the person they’ll become starts to take shape. It’s exciting—this uber-intense version of Life in Pencil.
Almost a year ago, I wrote post called Letter to Myself at 13. In it, I spoke to my adolescent self, and reflected on the myriad ways I’ve changed and developed…and how I’ve come of age. And so my question is this: Someday, will I write to myself at age 30? What events will weave their way into my life, causing me to come of age all over again? And will this era of my life ever hold the same fascination for me as the drama of adolescence? Maybe, but somehow I doubt it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must add Glee to my Netflix queue.
When do people come of age? Do you find teenage books, movies, music, or television interesting? Or do you prefer to avoid revisiting adolescence? What’s your favorite “Coming of Age” book or movie?
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:59 am
Did you see An Education? I thought that was one of the best coming of age movies ever. Man I loved that movie!
My boss recently terrified me, I commented to him that the past few years had gone by really quickly, and I hoped time would slow down a little. He looked at me and said, “You know, I don’t really remember my thirties.” Ack!
June 23rd, 2010 at 6:02 am
Hi Anne. Yes…I saw An Education and just loved it. Fabulous example!
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:15 am
Two classics I will always love: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Catcher in the Rye. I love this genre too, maybe because I remember the scariness and thrillingness of my teenage years quite vividly.
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:28 am
I’m in the other camp – happy to leave the teen years in the past. Certainly there were things I loved about that age, but most had to do with the lack of responsibility that I now miss. I do believe that the crossroads we face as teens – “when adult issues collide with childhood insecurities” as you say – are crucial experiences in the process of growing up. But I’m not as intrigued by reliving them.
Jennifer – I also loved “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.” Francie Nolan is a gem of a character.
June 23rd, 2010 at 12:34 pm
I loved being a teenager and loved working with adolescents for years as a high school teacher. I really appreciate what you have to say here about our teenage years as those in which we are sketching the outlines of our lives – in pencil, of course.
Sorry to bring down the quality of the discussion, but I have to mention one of my all-time favorite coming of age stories: Baby in Dirty Dancing. I loved that movie when I first saw it and still do today.
June 24th, 2010 at 6:40 am
I have a soft spot for teenagers, too. There’s just so much going on in those young bodies and minds. It’s why I was drawn to teaching high school (which I loved).
I’m obsessed with shows like Glee, too!
June 24th, 2010 at 10:00 am
I am fascinated by teenagers too. I remember being one but now I feel so far removed from them that their lives are entirely foreign to me. I love that you celebrate that coming of age today on your blog, it’s so important, to recognize our children and indeed our teens as WHOLE people.
June 24th, 2010 at 11:59 am
Sorry to be a downer, but I’m with Gale: I was happy to leave my teen years behind. Ugh. Not that I had a terrible experience in jr. and sr. high, but there was so much unnecessary drama. Figuring out who you are, finding your place in the social hierarchy, competition and cattiness… Wait a minute! Maybe things haven’t changed much since my teens!