Posted by Anne

I believe that sometimes—to live a fulfilled life—some planning is necessary.  Take, for example, your family relationships.  If your extended family is anything like mine, individuals are scattered across the country…perhaps even different continents.  While my nuclear family is small and contained, my extended family has always been another story.  Both sides of my family live from one coast to the other, making a Life in Pencil spontaneous family gathering unlikely at best.  And yet, this never stopped my parents.  Come hell, high water, or gridlock traffic on I-40, my sister and I were going to know our family—all of it—no matter how obscure the relationships.

Throughout my childhood, adolescence, and college years, we connected with our family.  We attended weddings and reunions from Kentucky to New Mexico to Berkeley to San Diego to Nebraska.  We detoured from our intimate family vacations to spend the night with cousins in Colorado.  We ate homemade pie in the dining room of my great aunt’s pillared home in rural Tennessee with no air conditioning—in the height of summer.  Why?  Because how else would I know and appreciate my cousins—my family—once I reached adulthood?  My parents wanted to foster these relationships. They knew they had to make it work.    

As an adult, I have a much greater understanding of the effort this took.  My parents planned, communicated with distant relatives, and racked up miles upon miles of highway time.  It was often a grind, and I’d venture a guess that those trips felt very UN- Life in Pencil.  But the result has been more meaningful than I could have imagined, and has created a sort of delayed Life in Pencil gratification.  Here’s what it accomplished: 

To this day, I will erase and rewrite my schedule, reroute my flights, arise at ungodly hours, and take unplanned vacation days if it means an opportunity to connect with family.  Recently, when my dear aunt asked if she could come for an impromptu visit to the Northwest this summer, I didn’t hesitate.  Somehow, when it comes to family, I rise the Life in Pencil occasion. 

And as a result, I not only have family connections all over this country, I have friends.  A week ago, I left for a conference in San Francisco.  A metro ride, a shuttle, and a rental car later, I was spending the 4^th of July with a nearby cousin and his beautiful family.  This was a relationship forged through effort and inconvenience, and it’s become incredibly important to me.   

When I have my own children someday, I hope I’ll share my own family with the family I love, no matter how I have to rewrite my plans. 

Are you willing to erase your plans for family?  Friends?  Did your parents drag you all over the country as a kid?  And do you do the same with yours?