A Sister and a Strand of Pearls
Posted by Anne
I have trust issues. Not issues with trusting people, mind you. I’m easily trusting of people—maybe even too trusting. I consider myself fairly trusty as well. But trusting a process? Trusting that life or my heart’s desire will work itself out? I’m a big giant skeptic…hence my difficulty with life in pencil. Despite a very good life, I tend to question whether the future will give me what I want. I doubt my future. Stress over it. So it’s a good thing other people believe in me. People like…my sister, Gale.
Without the constant reality check of people like Gale, life would be one big old anxiety-fest. When I want someone to confirm that my doubts and insecurities are unfounded and exaggerated, she’s happy to oblige. She knocks the optimism back into me.
This was never truer than on a leisurely, sisterly afternoon in my mid-to-late 20’s. I was single and convinced I would never find someone. Never marry. Never be in love…or at least requited love. (Yeah, I was totally dramatic about it.) We were shopping together, and Gale wanted to hop inside the jewelry store to get her ring cleaned. “Let’s play!” she said. We tried on rings “for fun.” This was not fun for me. And after a few, I started to lose it. I would never have one of these, so why on earth were we there? We left the store, and poor Gale was left to interpret my drama-rama reaction through my flood of tears. I don’t even remember what she said that day to comfort me. All I remember was what she did a few months later.
She’d been out of town on business. Not long after her return, she stopped by my apartment. “I have a present for you,” she said. “But it’s conditional.” She went on. “This is to remind you that you never need a man to give you jewelry. If you want jewelry, you can have it.” And she handed me a small, silk pouch. Choked up, I loosened the drawstring, and emptied the contents of the pouch into my open palm. A perfect string of pearls.
She wasn’t saying, “You’d better get used to buying your own jewelry.” And she wasn’t saying, “Suck it up.” In reality, she never doubted for a moment that I’d find someone to love. But to her, there was no reason to go putting my own pleasure on hold until that day came. The sensible thing is to just live and to live well. The rest will come.
Hopeful and pragmatic. Optimistic and grounded. That is my sister. Comforting to have someone who believes my life will work out just fine…despite my doubts, despite my fears.
Do you have someone in your life who can convince you things will work out even when your self-doubt is overwhelming?
August 25th, 2010 at 5:40 am
What a completely marvelous gesture by your sister. I share your issues trusting in the universe, the big picture, the fact that things will turn out. I wish I had someone like your sister who reassures me – I’m still looking.
xo
August 25th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Anne – I remember that day so well. I was dumbfounded by your tears, but given your emotional state you were quite articulate about their source. Sometimes it’s hard to think of an object outside of the conventional context (such as jewelry that we buy for ourselves, rather than it being given by a husband or boyfriend). I’m glad you remember the message that came with the gift. Thanks for this lovely post.
August 25th, 2010 at 7:54 am
This is a beautiful story. No, I do not have a touchstone like you have in Gale, but I’m smiling at your good fortune.
August 25th, 2010 at 10:54 am
This makes me smile – what a lovely story! And while I love pearls, the more important part is the lesson. Love yourself, value yourself.
August 25th, 2010 at 11:33 am
Beautiful story. Love the bond you and Gale have. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
August 25th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
That just brought tears to my eyes. That is exactly what sisters are for and yours is amazing. A life lived well has people like your sister in it – someone who will care for and nurture you and be there to help you see things in a different way. Thanks for the post today, Anne. It was just beautiful.
August 25th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Anne (and Gale),
That was just a beautiful story, I’m teary-eyed reading it. You are both so blessed to have one another. This is why having sisters is an amazing gift, yours particularly.
October 2nd, 2010 at 11:55 pm
I am blessed to have a few ‘Gales’ in my life, but as I get older, I find that having the courage to believe in my own potential and having faith that God will steer me to where I am supposed to be has helped me in those overwhelming moments of self-doubt where fear blocks any likely positive outcome. I know that may sound a little corny, but that is what is currently working for me.